The Letter from My Dad

Dear Diary,

It's been eleven years since I discovered this letter on what would have been my dad's 72nd birthday. When I say "discovered," I mean exactly that. My father didn't give me this letter directly—but I believe with all my heart that he gave it to me after he passed away in June 2014.

I've shared this story and precious letter with the people closest to me, but I now feel called to share it publicly. First, because this letter changed my life. Second, because having this letter—what it symbolizes and how it's helped me—has been the biggest gift my dad could have ever given me, beyond anything. I'm determined to leave my own children with such gifts. I hope you do too.

The summer after my amazing dad passed from a massive heart attack, I spent most of it at our family house in Langley, BC. Dad and I shared so many similarities—our love of self-growth, spirituality, and deep curiosity about life and beyond. I went down the yogic path while Dad found his community with the Rosicrucians, a beautiful group of "seekers of knowledge and wisdom."

Our conversations were deep and rich. I always tried to find parallels between our two paths, and there are many more than I realized at the time. We were often talking about the same thing, just coming at it from different angles.

In the summer of 2014, knowing Mom would eventually sell the family home, I began cherry-picking through Dad's lessons, poetry, and personal notes for future reading. I knew I was still too raw to dive deep, but eventually I could start slowly taking it all in.

December 2nd, 2014—Dad's birthday. My husband was traveling, the kids were in bed. I lit a fire, poured a generous shot of Dad's scotch (which he kept in our pantry for visits), and summoned the courage to "go down the rabbit hole." I knew it was going to be an "event."

I opened the folder where I'd carefully placed specific papers and began reading, drinking in every single one. I learned about his adventures on a trip to Egypt in the '90s, read poetry I'd never seen, letters to friends, and then...

Not even halfway through the folder, I turned the page and saw my name.

It was a letter—typed on a typewriter, single-spaced, front and back. At the very top was just my name. No date, no formal address, not even "Love, Dad"—just "Paula."

Keep in mind, I had carefully cherry-picked each paper in this file. This was the FIRST time I had ever laid eyes on this letter addressed to me. I clearly remember my heart jumping into my throat and my confusion about where it came from.

As I sat in my living room alone, I read this letter, taking in every word. I knew I was by myself, but I didn't feel alone—I knew Dad was sitting in the leather chair across from me. I was meant to find this letter exactly how and when I did.

Even though I'm guessing I was in my early twenties when he wrote it, so much still applied. I'd done many things in my life—different careers, creative ventures, some that made money and some not so much. At that point, I was seriously contemplating "the next thing."

My acting career wasn't exactly what I'd dreamed it would be. It was still alive and well, but I wasn't tapping my fullest potential as a creative, thought leader, money maker, and entrepreneur. I knew somehow that everything I'd done in my life was preparing me for what came next, aligning me deeper with my dharma—my purpose.

This letter came at the perfect time. Not only that, but it all made sense because I was already studying and teaching some of these very same principles. It might not have landed the same way when I was twenty.

I love how the universe gives us exactly what we need, when we need it.

I hope you find something in this letter that resonates, inspires or simply confirms what you already know (or maybe have forgotten). 🥰

XO,

Paula

Ps. I’ve kept this letter as it’s original version, with very little editing to maintain it’s integrity and the intention in which it was written.

Here's the letter...

Paula

I am writing this letter to you on this day because I know that you are in a bit of a state of concern and possible confusion about what your future might look like, or exactly how it will unfold. As I watch you sometimes struggle with these things, I feel sorry for you and wish that I could take a magic wand and make it all clear and comfortable for you. To clarify, I don’t wish that I could make your future a comfortable and carefree life with no worries or cares because that would be the same as destroying any value for you that you will eventually be able to gain from this life.

Rather, what I am saying, is that I wish that I could find the words to say to you that would make you see that life as an opportunity and an adventure. One that you are privileged to have the blessing of. It is not something to fear or labor though, or to feel as though you are being dragged through reluctantly, having to worry at all times that you are making the wrong decision or choice at any crossroad. One must remember that in fact, there is no such thing as a mistake in the direction that you choose at any given turn. Each turn that you make is nothing more than a new set of opportunities to explore. No matter which set of opportunities that you choose, there is a wealth of experiences to gain from them.

It may not seem too important at the time that you have these different experiences, especially when the slugging gets a bit tough. But try to never forget that in the long run, it is the things that you learn through the daily experiences that eventually round you into the fullest possible person that you can possibly be. It is important to also remember, that it is not possible unless you have these experiences. It is therefore necessary that you approach each and every one of the different opportunities that life can present you with the greatest of expectations and anticipation. Remember, that in each situation to give the very best that you can, so that whatever it is in the specific situation for you benefit and learn from, you will be able to receive.

ALWAYS EXPECT THE VERY BEST FOR YOURSELF, because you do deserve it!!

You are a very good and kind person and you do deserve the best. Remember you will always fulfill your beliefs. Another point that is often overlooked is that there is really nothing in this world to fear. There is nothing that will stop you from living until your times comes to die. So, in the meantime, it is ever only a question about how you want to go about living your life, and what you feel like doing with it.

There are millions of people in the world, who right now, choose to go through their life bringing onto themselves difficult circumstances under which they can suffer and be brought down so that their life becomes a total drag, as unpleasant as can be imagined. There are others who have a magical and charmed life, apparently without a care in the world. The only difference between them is in the choice they made about the ATTITUDE THEY WILL APPROACH LIFE WITH

Aside from the attitude, there is absolutely no difference between them.

Money is not the determining factor, although sometimes it seems that money is the most important key to happiness.

Whereas money, or more appropriately financial independence, goes a long way to allowing a person to enjoy certain things in life. More important, is to enjoy your life while you are earning your money on which to live. There are too many people waiting to enjoy their life until after they have earned enough money to leave the work they do not enjoy. They also never seem to live long enough to enjoy it.

It is of ultimate importance to always keep in mind the incredible amount of money that is flowing around you at all times, changing hands, moving from person to person for a variety of reasons beyond imagination. Money never stops moving! It moves by some people so closely, that sometimes it seems impossible that can’t see how near it actually is, or that they can reach out to stop as much as they require with very little effort.

This is the mindset to try to achieve. The mindset that there is total abundance and having as much as you want is as easy as figuring out a way to stop some of the abundance that is flowing around you at all times.

It is true that the singular thing that the people who lack money have in common, is their belief that there is only a limited amount and the portion they are entitled to is very small. It is precisely this mindset that keeps them in a position of shortage and lack. In other words, it is their belief that they are fulfilling. It always boils down to the same thing- The Belief System!!

 Now, I fully realize that it seems difficult sometimes that you can get anything  that you want, especially when all around you it looks like there are a bunch of limiting factors of which you have no control. However, when you look at it totally objectively, you can see that it is always YOU that is putting these things out of your reach. You will always fulfill your vision, no matter what your vision is!!! As a matter of fact, the only thing you CAN fulfill is your vision, or the image that stands out in your mind. It is not possible to fulfill anything BUT your vision, or image. For your subconscious mind will not impress on you to pay attention to anything but the things that are consistent with your image (belief system).

That does not mean that you can change your direction in a short time or have your vision change day by day. It takes a long time to change your vision and it takes a lot of mental work to change it enough to operate in the new direction. You know the exercises you have to do to change your mind.

Remember, these cannot be short term visions. I am talking about long term, even lifetime visions. Once you have the vision established, you need only to have the faith that it will be yours, and it will be yours!

 Never, at any point think that anything will come to you without solid, hard work- because it won’t. You must energetically and actively pursue your dreams. Every minute must be dedicated to your goal. It will come!

Now, as an observation I would like to say that it seems to me that your biggest problem, is that you do not have a clear idea of what it is that you want your image to be. There is nothing wrong with that, in fact that is normal. Most people do not know what they want. They have some fuzzy idea of having a lot of money and are trusting nothing but luck to bring it to them. THAT IS THE NORMAL CONDITION OF MANKIND! And in a completely normal world, it is very hard to do things that are not normal. That is in fact what you have to be. You have probably noticed by now, that it is usually the “un-normal” person who knows exactly what they want. They set their sights on their goals and GO FOR IT. You may have also noticed that usually get it….in the long run. Remember, we are talking about the long run.

You must first make a serious and concerted decision as to what you want in the long run. Do NOT treat it frivolously.

This is your life that you are dealing with!!